The war on Christmas trees. The war on Cheerios. The war on the Constitution. The war on weed. The war on capitalism. The war on poker. The war on human excellence. The war on Texas. These are just a few of the more than 100 wars President Obama is engaged in, at least according to conservative pundits and lazy headline writers. He’s also declared war on the internet, so read the full list before it’s too late.
This is a good list. Our favorite? Space junk. nwk tumblr does not like space junk, just up there floating around being all junky.
Richard Nixon’s Never-Used 1969 Speech In Case of Apollo 11 Disaster
Thankfully, not needed.
IN THE EVENT OF MOON DISASTER:
Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.
These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding.
They will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
In their exploration, they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.
In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
Others will follow and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts.
For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.
PRIOR TO THE PRESIDENT’S STATEMENT: The president should telephone each of the widows-to-be.
AFTER THE PRESIDENT’S STATEMENT, at the point when NASA ends communications with the men: A clergyman should adopt the same procedure as a burial at sea, commending their souls to “the deepest of the deep,” concluding with the Lord’s Prayer.
(via The Atlantic)
Astronomers report that they have taken the measure of the biggest, baddest black holes yet found in the universe, abyssal yawns 10 times the size of our solar system into which billions of Suns have vanished like a guilty thought.
One of these monsters, which weighs as much as 21 billion Suns, is in an egg-shaped swirl of stars known as NGC 4889, the brightest galaxy in a sprawling cloud of thousands of galaxies about 336 million light-years away in the Coma constellation.
The other black hole, a graveyard for the equivalent of 9.7 billion Suns, more or less, lurks in the center of NGC 3842, a galaxy that anchors another cluster known as Abell 1367, 331 million light-years away in Leo.
“These are the most massive reliably-measured black holes ever,” said Nicholas J. McConnell, a graduate student at the University of California, Berkeley, in an e-mail, referring to the new observations.
These results are more than just cool and record-setting. Observations with the Hubble Space Telescope over the years have shown that such monster black holes seem to inhabit the centers of all galaxies — the bigger the galaxy, the bigger the black hole. Researchers said that the new work could shed light on the role these black holes play in the formation and evolution of galaxies.
Prepare the red matter!!! OH WAIT RED MATTER WON’T MATTER!
Astronauts on the International Space Station captured these views of the aurora australis (“southern lights”) and wildfires in Australia in mid-September 2011.
Holy SHIT, this is unreal. I’ve watched it multiple times and I am still having a hard time believing it’s real. Wow.
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